Monday, November 30, 2009


Hey pple,
         Ok so here it is, I messed up a potential good friendship and i dont think i can ever get it back, i don't knw what to do. been trying to concentrate but i cant, i av apologized, written epistles and i just look pitiful at this point. Gosh! i wish i had just let sleeping dogs lie but dont u get curious once in a while? i think i am going crazy....
Men i so hate how this turned out and i wish ull really see my heart wen i say i am truly sorry, i dont even have the will power to write anymore right now, thinking of getting off twitter as well.....tink i just need some space.
Nolar i wish u were ere i am a mess right now!

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Where is all this coming from???
One question why do i care so much seriously? I am so mad at myself right now......
Why is my heart this way, why cant i be a B+tch? they get the respect, love and a whole lotta package....
When u show u put ur heart out, it is just stomped on, ur pride is hurt and it feels like its ur doing.......
So all of a sudden, I am the changed one?
I am tired of these repetitions, and right now i am wondering y we are meant to have these so called
I am not scared to be my own person, but making me feel like sumfin is wrong wiv me or my reasoning???
I am holding on to what u told me, a while back asking me to Let u love me......
We sit and let it all slip away? because i av dreamt of my future so much with .......
Now it feels like i am hovering/nagging/desperate?
How about i let my fantasy die, and just accept reality.
What else am i meant to do? pls enlighten me......
I am tired, and already i can tell i am rewinding to 07
How else am i to prove i want u not need u,......
This game is very unfair and the high it takes u is how low it drops u
After all the quest and dire need to have me, i am now the object of ur stress......
I am shutting the door gradually, i am tired of opening doors that keep getting shut
Maybe ill shut it forever, cuz its not fair pple not as committed as i am
Get the respect, love and all while i av to grovel for it???
I have no clue anymore and i think i am tired of putting the pieces together...............
It shld not be this hard!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Hey y'all
How r u doing? (sound like a wendy williams interview) lol!! I am great and so happy with the past 2 days God is awesome pple. Ok so for a week now i av been having dis dialogue in my head about getting in shape believe me this is like the 100th time (smiles). i was thinking of getting a treadmill or the Wii fitness sports game box, GYM? i av one right down my office and at the shopping center 5/10 mins from my office but arrrrgggghhh! i just dont GO. I hia u say i am not serious (lol) not the case, the commute to my house is like some 1/2 hrs on the bus and train and driving 15 mins tops 20mins but sadly i dont drive yet, and wen the weather turns cold/rainy it just aint pretty believe me.
Its no excuse but the motivation just wont come, then home i av a boxing bag, and a tummy ball which i VISIT once a while, so whats my problem i dont knw honestly i av tried every diet or starvation, the only times i remember loosing weight was in 2003/2004 and den 2006 but since den hmm! hmm! hmm! the pounds keep adding up. Naturally i am not a skinny girl right from birth i was the biggest baby in the hospital, i grew up as teenager in clothes of size 12's and 14 my family is blessed with curves and i seemed to get the extra backside, not complaining its some pples curse i turned to my blessing, u notice how i said sum pples's curse, cuz there is nothing i av not tried if u go for a family reunion with me, my aunts and cousins are identified with that, even my DAD! so pls dont hate .*Giggles*
I relocated to the United States in 2005 still contemplating if it was d brightest move cuz i miss home but we all have to get the hustle on right? Of course i was warned stay away from the pancakes, syrups , americans love food its so attractive bla bla bla! well they never lied, funny thing is half of their food i cant take, I am Lactose intolerant of their milk, mac and cheese a NO NO, pizzas not a cheese fan, burgers the meat dont taste like Mr. Biggs and Chinese aint TFC *Tastee fried Chicken* and d biggest shocker i do not like pancakes nor do i go out to eat so where did all these love handles stem from??
I love BREAD, i was home July '09 gosh those Agege bread hawkers knew me, brown and soft i wish they had dem here :( but they make up for it with all the bagels, sweet bread, cinnamon rolls yeah teju not good! then rice.. thats a sunday ritual so imagine 4 yrs of rice sundays and 3 times a week yeah... i though so too, i av another forte this chinese restaurant by my job ROYAL JADE gosh fried rice & shrimps no veggies or eggs xtra spicy wooooh! its divine but wen i get to the last grain of rice the oil is enough to fry eggs for 2 weeks and lastly some days i am just down, lonely missing my boo and i splurge with Ice cream at that moment i dont care how big my derriere gets i just want to feel good but few hrs later calories packed and the deed cannot be undone.
So now this is kinda of a rough break down on my foods what i love but my time table for eating is way off, i skip meals, binge late watching good movies oh it feels good (killing me lol) and den my metabolism is slow so with all these said, the past few days myself and my girl BIBI we av been talking abt getting back in shape but we wld be conversing on burger or fries , yeah we r silly! but we av decided it is to be done.
1am last night after watching the Wendy Williams show, i was in bed really thinking of getting my treadmill and i cld hear my heart racing , i said God seriously i want to do it this time, just as i was about to switch off the tv set i saw my guide and saw *The Tyra Show* well its tyra apart from screaming et al what can she possible say i clicked on oxygen and guess what *the episode of keeping my shape in shape* a coincidence? I smiled up at God and watched the show , she has lost weight not like she was ever big but she looks cool and she had her NUTRITIONIST on the show, as they talked about the do and donts ill share the important points i got.................................
* Exercise is 20% ur Food and Portions are 80% - i thot d other way round
*the leave 'em carbs - Bagels, bread/rice (white) pancakes - O lord Bread
*love 'em carbs  - Wheat bread, corn, oatmeal brown rice - I still get bread
*Greens r very important
*Portion control
*Protein more of fish & chicken
*Write what u eat , whatever u take, a turkey sandwich, fries , burger  - makes u accountable
*breakfast , oatmeal, fiber cereals, yogurt *fat free* blue berries
*lunch cld be ur love 'em carbs potatoes B/rice with some veggies, fish or turkey breast
* mid - snack FRUITS, bananas, apples, pineapples - i used to dislike fruits love dem now *like i had a choice*
*dinner  should be light , veggies no eating after 7 or at most 8
So all of that being said i decided ill try this for 2 weeks and see how it goes, ill definitely keep u updated for sure, but exercise still needs to be done so i will do some exercise but need to get my portions right!!!
Ill let u know on the 26th hmm thats thanksgiving ok on the 27th how far i av come and what  i av lost (smiles)
I wont share my pounds yet let me loose sum den i can say oh i lost 10 pounds.
So stay wiv me pple and motivate me plzzzz, ill see y'all soon!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


This is the only place i think i feel safe, i am so sorry blogsville left u for too long, i came back and now twitter is trying to drag me I love my blogville fam Bagucci & cheeks (she is twam & fam love u gurl), but on d real u guys just encourage and inspire me,
So Happy new month pple, we made it this far and its great to be here, cant believe a year is gone already well almost, I hope we make this last few weeks last i intend to.
So whats been going on with me??? school's been crazy but i am doing it and i am glad its been a fun ride and i owe all thanks to GOD, he has been so awesome, wish i was perfect for him but even with all my imperfections he loves me still.
This past weekend was so crazy i rush out and den come back and sleep like a log of wood, d boo has been such a sweetheart though, so funny just wen i start to feel like its all crashing down God just sends him with the right words. ok with that said twitter? its about to put me in trouble well not exactly but i am loosing a lot of my time TWEETING and sumtimes pples tweet r quite annoying just like i am sure sum of mine are, but i pray to tweet more inspiring tweets these days but gotta check on my twam lov dem like crazy!!!
Twitter is an addictive drug to be banned whaaaaaat?? God i pray specially... detox me plss, i love my pple but it just seems blogsville is my home, i feel hugged already wooooo! i was a bit moody earlier and  facebook is all love.
Guess i just opened too many doors on twitter i wish i didn't and now trying to shut 'em doors and it feels like it wont or whats there to keep? i might be talking in parables but my girl cheeks might understand me!! lol, i am good now though, i am choosing to love what God has blessed me with instead of what i desire, and yes my other project needs to be concentrated on.
Enough blabbing, just needed the comfort of my blog its almost 1am now, about to go sleep and thank God for the great pple he has placed in my life to take my hands when i seem to fall on the way side!!! special shout out to my BFF osagie, thanks for the talk.
Good night y'all and be d best in all u do

Peace & love