ANGER!!!!

I am angry or maybe I was angry, but I have never birth so much venom......
I was raged, I felt my pressure go up, my blood heated..................
I was becoming that monster, that one that comes thru wen I feel pained/betrayed........
Everyone said I should forget it, let it go, keep my cool I struggled to for dayzzzz
Then the ticker went off, I could not take it I had to explode, i had to vent........
I felt better, I had lifted all I nursed around a while out but...................
I realize my anger is raw and damaging wen I feel slighted!!!!
Dear God, I held on for a bit longer but now I truly understand ur words......
Let not the sun go down on ur anger, revenge is mine says the lord.......
The human mind is incapable of controlling its rage unless we release it......
Its just hard atimes, I take a lot and can allow continuous push but.......
When my back is against the wall, a slight brush........
I muster all the times I av been pushed and push back......
My push dents a wall, I try really try not to go there, I wear a mask ........
A constant smile, vulnerable attitude which often looks weakening......
Its the only mirage to mask this ugly vice I av TEMPER........
I have not damaged anything, I av not done do Undoable but.......
I wish I didint get bruised easy or hurt so deep then nothing would matter.........
I cant change life, I can change how I see it and my reaction to it..........
Anger eats at you from every direction, ur mind is blurred, ur heart is heavy,
Ur thinking is irrational, its no wonder the good lord asks for us to tame it.......
I am not proud of how bad it can get when I feel hurt......
Its worse off  when the ones who offend u r unapologetic.......
I read a friend's blog on Unforgiveness and sumtin struck a chord....
Its not like we dont want to forgive but it feels like giving power to d offender......
The lord Jesus christ took more and for me so how much more I????
I hope I get closure from today's doing but..........
I av chosen to go back home today and get on my knees and talk to God......
I av been told my temper might mar me, but its not a place I want to be........
I feel good writing this and I am grateful for my parents talking to me thru this......
My Dad said "U dont throw the baby out with the bath water"
My Mum said "Patience is a virtue"
I would take the words of my elders and engrave them on my heart........
The world is not worth negative energy if I choose to smile thru it...........
God bless u all have a gud evening!!