Hey y'all,
How av u guys been? its been a pretty cool saturday for me......
I woke up and started getting myself prepped for my Naija trip.....
Wow! so excited, i need a break from this madness of work/school
I am glad I am going to see my family, friends and I am loving the unknown........
My sister's wedding is going to be fun I can tell and I am just excited for her......
I am thrilled for my parents haha at least they are getting rid of us in bits now.......
Its been a roller coaster 2 weeks but I am glad clarity is setting in ..........
I look forward to a fresh start, I want to be in that place God has set apart 4 me......
It gets better lifes challenges teaches me each day and gets me closer to God.....
So much to say, 4 now Ill nurse it in and wait for God to unfold this scenes 2 come
I need some excitement in my life though, feel like a big bore these days.......
I think I have been so tied up into other pple's well being I forgot about me......
So its time for change 2011 definitely aint coming cheap, I tell ya......
The wisdom of our elders we rid off sumtimes but if we take a min to ponder!!!!!
They definitely know a lot of what they say and experience sure is d best teacher........
Anyways not much to write, about to skype with my sis Jade catch up on stuff :)
Alrighty its been fun back ere and special shout out to my girls.....................
Gretel, Tisha, Myne, Kabiyesi and Cheeks for always stopping by......
Adios mwah!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
ANGER!!!!
I am angry or maybe I was angry, but I have never birth so much venom......
I was raged, I felt my pressure go up, my blood heated..................
I was becoming that monster, that one that comes thru wen I feel pained/betrayed........
Everyone said I should forget it, let it go, keep my cool I struggled to for dayzzzz
Then the ticker went off, I could not take it I had to explode, i had to vent........
I felt better, I had lifted all I nursed around a while out but...................
I realize my anger is raw and damaging wen I feel slighted!!!!
Dear God, I held on for a bit longer but now I truly understand ur words......
Let not the sun go down on ur anger, revenge is mine says the lord.......
The human mind is incapable of controlling its rage unless we release it......
Its just hard atimes, I take a lot and can allow continuous push but.......
When my back is against the wall, a slight brush........
I muster all the times I av been pushed and push back......
My push dents a wall, I try really try not to go there, I wear a mask ........
A constant smile, vulnerable attitude which often looks weakening......
Its the only mirage to mask this ugly vice I av TEMPER........
I have not damaged anything, I av not done do Undoable but.......
I wish I didint get bruised easy or hurt so deep then nothing would matter.........
I cant change life, I can change how I see it and my reaction to it..........
Anger eats at you from every direction, ur mind is blurred, ur heart is heavy,
Ur thinking is irrational, its no wonder the good lord asks for us to tame it.......
I am not proud of how bad it can get when I feel hurt......
Its worse off when the ones who offend u r unapologetic.......
I read a friend's blog on Unforgiveness and sumtin struck a chord....
Its not like we dont want to forgive but it feels like giving power to d offender......
The lord Jesus christ took more and for me so how much more I????
I hope I get closure from today's doing but..........
I av chosen to go back home today and get on my knees and talk to God......
I av been told my temper might mar me, but its not a place I want to be........
I feel good writing this and I am grateful for my parents talking to me thru this......
My Dad said "U dont throw the baby out with the bath water"
My Mum said "Patience is a virtue"
I would take the words of my elders and engrave them on my heart........
The world is not worth negative energy if I choose to smile thru it...........
God bless u all have a gud evening!!
I was raged, I felt my pressure go up, my blood heated..................
I was becoming that monster, that one that comes thru wen I feel pained/betrayed........
Everyone said I should forget it, let it go, keep my cool I struggled to for dayzzzz
Then the ticker went off, I could not take it I had to explode, i had to vent........
I felt better, I had lifted all I nursed around a while out but...................
I realize my anger is raw and damaging wen I feel slighted!!!!
Dear God, I held on for a bit longer but now I truly understand ur words......
Let not the sun go down on ur anger, revenge is mine says the lord.......
The human mind is incapable of controlling its rage unless we release it......
Its just hard atimes, I take a lot and can allow continuous push but.......
When my back is against the wall, a slight brush........
I muster all the times I av been pushed and push back......
My push dents a wall, I try really try not to go there, I wear a mask ........
A constant smile, vulnerable attitude which often looks weakening......
Its the only mirage to mask this ugly vice I av TEMPER........
I have not damaged anything, I av not done do Undoable but.......
I wish I didint get bruised easy or hurt so deep then nothing would matter.........
I cant change life, I can change how I see it and my reaction to it..........
Anger eats at you from every direction, ur mind is blurred, ur heart is heavy,
Ur thinking is irrational, its no wonder the good lord asks for us to tame it.......
I am not proud of how bad it can get when I feel hurt......
Its worse off when the ones who offend u r unapologetic.......
I read a friend's blog on Unforgiveness and sumtin struck a chord....
Its not like we dont want to forgive but it feels like giving power to d offender......
The lord Jesus christ took more and for me so how much more I????
I hope I get closure from today's doing but..........
I av chosen to go back home today and get on my knees and talk to God......
I av been told my temper might mar me, but its not a place I want to be........
I feel good writing this and I am grateful for my parents talking to me thru this......
My Dad said "U dont throw the baby out with the bath water"
My Mum said "Patience is a virtue"
I would take the words of my elders and engrave them on my heart........
The world is not worth negative energy if I choose to smile thru it...........
God bless u all have a gud evening!!
Monday, November 8, 2010
MY OTHER BLOG
http://teyjuh2.blogspot.com/
Hope I get to finish with school and all, but this is just me trying to bring fictional xters to life in short day dreams inspired by everyday people. Hope u enjoy it, read bottoms up...thanx.
Hope I get to finish with school and all, but this is just me trying to bring fictional xters to life in short day dreams inspired by everyday people. Hope u enjoy it, read bottoms up...thanx.
Monday, November 1, 2010
DADDY'S PRINCESS
The floor was cold, the bars were colder......
It was dark, it was all too familiar its been 2 yrsThe lights went out, the whispers were like crickets
The night was long and lonely but his mind was blurred................He felt the heat of moist trickle down his face.....
The knot in his chest tightened as he tried to breathe
He reached under his pillow for his flash light........He pulled out her picture from his bible and there she was
His lil angel, her smile was beautiful and harmless....
He thot to himself...how do I make her understand?
What do I tell her, whats she been told?
Her father was sent to prison for trying to keep her alive!
So he decided to write and hoped one day soon enough
He would make her understand how love can make u do wrong......
DEAR LILY,
I loved you from the day I was told you were a seed growing
I loved the woman who carried you day in day out..........
I loved her more as she grew heavier and all swollen with you......
I smiled to the future and promised to bring heaven on earth to you both
Days turned to weeks and then to months, Ur mother birthed you.......
As I carried ur little being in my hands, I neva pictured a better moment.......
I thanked God for honouring me to watch over you here on earth...........
I thanked ur mum for the strength and courage to carry you all thru.........
I cannot be there for you now, an error in judgement brings this pain
As we journeyed home that day, thru the rain I had only one priority.....
To get my baby girl home safe to some warmth and ur mum to rest......
We approached an intersection but my focus was on you and ur mum
I ran a red light and hit a pedestrian, I felt the impact and rushed out......
A teenage boy was flat down bleeding from the side............
I was trying to pull over on the side of the road wen a cop showed up!!!
He saw me *escaping* but as I tried to explain my intentions it got heated......
He said I threatend him but all I did was raise my voice ..........
I raised my voice telling him u and ur mum needed to be safe
He got me in an arm twist and cuffed me, I was in a rage.................
I did nothing wrong, in all that anger I bumped his head and he fell flat........
I was charged with assualting an officer and intent to murder...............
The lil boy suffered injuries but was alive.....I wonder till this day what murder???
The cop was alive but gave a tainted account of the incident in court ............
I was brought in to defend myself but all my hope was gone wen dey took U!!!
So sweetheart, I am not evil I never meant to leave ur side but life aint fair.......
U and ur mum keep me going and I promise to get out real soon just for u!!!
Thank you for my father's day gift, ur bible is tucked under my pillow every night...
Love u princess, the candle is burning out but always knw my love would not.....
Daddy xoxoxoxo.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
LOVE BITES, LOVE HEALS
She walks staring at the skies, its become a routine...
She walks and is blind to tbe beauty others display
The smiles that reflected the brightness of the sun.........
She wonders, we must not live on the same earth...
I must have communicated with aliens or maybe.......
I have been placed amongst the wrong people...........
How else does she explain bite after bite.......
The scars that fade and gets redesigned????
Why does she have to walk this path again?
No one understands her, no one feels her heart......
She is alone in her world, her reality is a joke to the world
She believes in fairy tales they say........
She must die and be re-birth to experience what she feels
No one matches her desire, it was impossible.............
So she walks in sudden realization, she exists in her world ALONE
She talks but her words bounce back, she feels but her heart is a joke.........
Her defense is she is an incredible actor.......................
She wears her mask and smiles with the world as her insides bleeds
She comes back to an empty house, lifeless with sounds of her tears...............
She looks up and realizes all she has is God..................
When is my time to smile she asks? What sin am I paying for???
Then she hears that scornful laugh and the breeze cold as ice............
No warmth and the night was young, misery had come to stay.........
This is her story, love had bitten hard, her flesh was sore and tired
Now she walks and every corner of the street is a love fest.............
She hears LOVE never bites, it holds u and keeps u warm.......
She says LOVE hits her to the ground and leaves her bruised.....
This is every broken hearted being's story but.............
WHEN THEY CALL U VICTIM SEEK UR VICTORY BY NEVER GIVING UP ON LOVE.......
:)> Its so beautiful
She walks and is blind to tbe beauty others display
The smiles that reflected the brightness of the sun.........
She wonders, we must not live on the same earth...
I must have communicated with aliens or maybe.......
I have been placed amongst the wrong people...........
How else does she explain bite after bite.......
The scars that fade and gets redesigned????
Why does she have to walk this path again?
No one understands her, no one feels her heart......
She is alone in her world, her reality is a joke to the world
She believes in fairy tales they say........
She must die and be re-birth to experience what she feels
No one matches her desire, it was impossible.............
So she walks in sudden realization, she exists in her world ALONE
She talks but her words bounce back, she feels but her heart is a joke.........
Her defense is she is an incredible actor.......................
She wears her mask and smiles with the world as her insides bleeds
She comes back to an empty house, lifeless with sounds of her tears...............
She looks up and realizes all she has is God..................
When is my time to smile she asks? What sin am I paying for???
Then she hears that scornful laugh and the breeze cold as ice............
No warmth and the night was young, misery had come to stay.........
This is her story, love had bitten hard, her flesh was sore and tired
Now she walks and every corner of the street is a love fest.............
She hears LOVE never bites, it holds u and keeps u warm.......
She says LOVE hits her to the ground and leaves her bruised.....
This is every broken hearted being's story but.............
WHEN THEY CALL U VICTIM SEEK UR VICTORY BY NEVER GIVING UP ON LOVE.......
:)> Its so beautiful
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
VICTIM OF COMFORT
Hi blogville, yep trying to get my ness back up ere. So all is good and dandy lately I cant complain hope all is swell at ur ends.
I am sure you would be wondering wats up with my recent posts, I have just been evolving thru a lot of stuff and looking back at situations yet still standing its truly a blessing.
I knw it sounds cliche its everyone's story and I am happy it is, but for me I tend to interprete life's events in different ways. I always said my blog is like a diary of my daily life or inspirations that come as well as share moments i love and hate with y'all to relate to someone out there.
I have learned that ur story is never complete without it designing another's story, we all inspire one another some way, some how it might not be now, it might be years to come, it might be ur kids who would look up to u, destiny has a way of bringing us back in circles.
So this morning I was reading OH and something I read got me thinking, Its difficult for us to be thankful and seek God the way we did when we had minimal comfort to when he blesses us with grandeur comfort.
Isn't it a wonder a fellow who prays night and day, works 24/7 in church lives in what we would term the average life while one who does not even go to church as much lives the celebrity life if u may call it?
I used to wonder myself and Lord knows in ignorance a few times I am like but he does not got to church, bet he does not pray as much but guess what.....his ways, his morals, his characters are reflections of the seeds God wants us to sow.
A man may never go to church not like I am condoning such but his heart is of pure contents, he cares for the unfortunate, he is the boss u want to work for, he is the father any kid wld be proud of, he has made his parents proud, he cant but help a niece or nephew pay for school fees, like 5 siblings got married under his roof...u see where I am going GOD BLESSES HIM cuz he gives and believes in nothing else but giving back. Now a man who is in a one bedroom praying day and night, an elder in church, spirit filled yet he seems to remain in that situation?? God knows wen u r ready for ur blessing, such a man might be rich today and forget where he came from, forget the blessing in giving, the comfort makes him forget the life he once had or the God he cried day and night to. Now when he gives he has a record of who he gives when he gives and reminds God to watch him so he can fill the pockets he pulled out from, such a person is yet to understand why he is where he is.
Trust me I am not a saint this also speaks to me and I am beginning to get clarity about religion, serving God is not in ur acts but in ur heart, the way u treat fellow human beings when no one is watching is what matters most, the contents of your heart, celebration of life and success of others is what elevates you to your own celebration. Sitting down in bitterness over people's achievements would never help, sometimes God blesses certain people in ur life to connect you to your own blessings but unfortunately the devil uses that opportunity for you to hate on that person....... there goes ur chance.
No I am not a pastor, I just speak from daily encounters, interaction with people, relationships and views of people I may never get to even talk to, but their stories have given me hope that I can get to the top as well and be a blessing to people connected to me or not. One is FELA DUROTOYE!
So thot to share this with you all, I am still my crazy bubbling self and yes Ill be posting another blog of my hip pain! I slept on my hip bone and I am in pain :) but God is great and I am blessed to have the lovely people I have in my life who put me in check, bless me and motivate me.
Smootches.
~TejuMola
I am sure you would be wondering wats up with my recent posts, I have just been evolving thru a lot of stuff and looking back at situations yet still standing its truly a blessing.
I knw it sounds cliche its everyone's story and I am happy it is, but for me I tend to interprete life's events in different ways. I always said my blog is like a diary of my daily life or inspirations that come as well as share moments i love and hate with y'all to relate to someone out there.
I have learned that ur story is never complete without it designing another's story, we all inspire one another some way, some how it might not be now, it might be years to come, it might be ur kids who would look up to u, destiny has a way of bringing us back in circles.
So this morning I was reading OH and something I read got me thinking, Its difficult for us to be thankful and seek God the way we did when we had minimal comfort to when he blesses us with grandeur comfort.
Isn't it a wonder a fellow who prays night and day, works 24/7 in church lives in what we would term the average life while one who does not even go to church as much lives the celebrity life if u may call it?
I used to wonder myself and Lord knows in ignorance a few times I am like but he does not got to church, bet he does not pray as much but guess what.....his ways, his morals, his characters are reflections of the seeds God wants us to sow.
A man may never go to church not like I am condoning such but his heart is of pure contents, he cares for the unfortunate, he is the boss u want to work for, he is the father any kid wld be proud of, he has made his parents proud, he cant but help a niece or nephew pay for school fees, like 5 siblings got married under his roof...u see where I am going GOD BLESSES HIM cuz he gives and believes in nothing else but giving back. Now a man who is in a one bedroom praying day and night, an elder in church, spirit filled yet he seems to remain in that situation?? God knows wen u r ready for ur blessing, such a man might be rich today and forget where he came from, forget the blessing in giving, the comfort makes him forget the life he once had or the God he cried day and night to. Now when he gives he has a record of who he gives when he gives and reminds God to watch him so he can fill the pockets he pulled out from, such a person is yet to understand why he is where he is.
Trust me I am not a saint this also speaks to me and I am beginning to get clarity about religion, serving God is not in ur acts but in ur heart, the way u treat fellow human beings when no one is watching is what matters most, the contents of your heart, celebration of life and success of others is what elevates you to your own celebration. Sitting down in bitterness over people's achievements would never help, sometimes God blesses certain people in ur life to connect you to your own blessings but unfortunately the devil uses that opportunity for you to hate on that person....... there goes ur chance.
No I am not a pastor, I just speak from daily encounters, interaction with people, relationships and views of people I may never get to even talk to, but their stories have given me hope that I can get to the top as well and be a blessing to people connected to me or not. One is FELA DUROTOYE!
So thot to share this with you all, I am still my crazy bubbling self and yes Ill be posting another blog of my hip pain! I slept on my hip bone and I am in pain :) but God is great and I am blessed to have the lovely people I have in my life who put me in check, bless me and motivate me.
Smootches.
~TejuMola
Sunday, October 17, 2010
JUST IN AWE
I sit here wanting to cry but I cant, I am just amazed how time flies............
How yday's worries go by so fast when today creeps in and tomorrow surfaces
I go to bed everyday just like the guy in the news, the woman at the parking lot,
The child by the play ground all reported dead, I am not alert on my surroundings
So its not one lucky break for me, I can walk into the unexpected I am no different..............
But God is just a wonder, wen I sit thru and think of the unforgiveable things I av done?
How can he forgive me, who am I? I sit ere and wonder God still sees a need for me???
I am just in awe, thru everything he sees my beauty like no other........................
I walk a thousand feet from him and be gone forgetting I exist because of him................
When the world I run to shuts me out, I want to remain in that cold and lonely place,
How dare me walk back into his love? his door he never closed, his food he always gave,
His bed he always made for me, I am a queen in his house yet I go out to the world..............
The same recycling act that would keep happening after genrations leave this life...........
I go sleep on the floor where I am not even welcomed,
I hear him weeping in hurt, watching me on the floor when my bed is neatly made in his house
God has been so merciful to me and I do not deserve it, but in grace I am humbled and thankful
I am walking my way back into his love, where its constantly warm and reassuring, where its safe,
Where its love for free, where I can act myself, where I can be understood.................................
God I am thankful for seeing me worthy of life for keeping me still....................
I am enjoying ur presence, I am enjoying the messages u send me thru various means................
I knw I need to prepare for u, I knw I am holding u back from doing what u want to do...............
I clog my heart with impurities and settle for darkness instead of light!!!!!
I am in awe and just want to say thank u for second chances that have become uncountable
Lord thank u, thank u! My heart is in an over flow mode .....................................
I just can put to writing whats on me now, I am just in awe for u are a wonder to me!
I am grateful, i am just an over pour of how much ugliness I av displayed despite ur beauty.............
I give all of me to U!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)