MOTHERHOOD

It must be a dream, the faint cry is definitely not your reality
Struggling through sleep, shutting out that noise…
The guilt in your chest if you lay there one more second
You blink your eyes and the sound gets audible, your child
No one ever has the perfect rule to being a mother
If God blessed you with a child, he sees you through each phase……
Half awake, with a headache, the TV on, bumping into clothes on the floor
You stretch out and carry your little one, cuddling him to sleep
Then your hands are wet, where is the water you touched????
Then your chest feels wet too, the adorable one is all wet, !!!DIAPER CHANGE
You grab the wipes, diaper, butt paste, and change the little one
That sweet sound of their cry…..now you have to change the little onesie
Then the little fingers grab at your breast, its feeding time……..
Tired, barely enough energy left in you, you feed your child
As he latches on taking all he can take, while you pray not to doze off,
He takes his fill and you cuddle him again as you rub his back for a burp
Finally the burp, slowly drifting back to sleep, zzzzzzzz
Thank you Jesus you say as you slowly creep back to sleep
Then the alarm goes off 6am? What! I just closed my eyes
But no darling that was 2 hours ago, you have been sleeping since 4am
Gently creeping out of the bed, so you can have some quiet……
The sweet melodious cry and you pick him up for another feed….
After his fill, the burp, he lays comfortably in your arms, sleeping
You smile through the tiredness, the headaches, the issues you think you have
And smile at the gift of life God has blessed you with, the humbling experiencing
Being responsible for another life, watching each milestone and getting through it!!!
The nights you stayed up as he was born, the nights you barely slept cuz he was ill
The mornings you had to come in late to work for his doc’s appointments
The days you had to call off work, because of a cold/congestion he couldn’t shake off
The days you realized you hadn’t eaten all day, the days you were to burnt out to cook
The times you find a pacifier in your handbag, your car keys in the laundry basket
Your cell phone under the bed or in between a heap of clothes, or in the fridge
The days you fantasized about shopping for yourself and smile knowing who are u kidding
Every shopping is now all about him, Mama can always mix & match and if she can’t tough luck
Its all about you Kiddo.
And no matter how tired, frustrated, scared, unsure we mothers get atimes….
Always remember God knew you could handle it!!!

BACK TO MY LOVE!!! WRITING

I have not written in 2 years????? Well I have written but not on this blog phew....
I miss writing so bad, just waking up and my brain charged,
Those words spilling out of my head and igniting from my heart...
Life has definitely taking its toll with mother hood for me!!!!
Its been an amazing journey though and that would be my next post MOTHERHOOD.
I have been blessed with a wonderful boy! Oh I love him to death,
He gives me the run for my money and I am always left tired.
God has been amazing in my life, these past 2 years has been!!!!
A revealing, re-awakening and rediscovery of who I am and loving it
 I look around me and my generation is in the stage I call THE REAL
We were all in a hurry to grow up, be our own men & women, bosses
We couldn’t wait to leave our parents, hmmmm Had we known the DEAL
looking back at our parents and I must commend them heartily what!!!!
A HUGE sacrifice they all paid, raising us and making sure we got the best
Here we are living better than most of our parents back then,
Presented with a lot more opportunities than they had and we r so MISGUIDED,
If our parents were blessed with the opportunities we had today, my oh my
They would have been selfless and made sure our futures were so secure but....
Here we are selfish so much so we don’t even care for these parents or our children
We are so much in competition with each other, our panties are in a bun over irrelevancies
I sit and wonder how did we get here, why are we not getting our head screwed on tight?
We are destroying the future for our kids and teaching them far less than what we were taught,
I really hope things turn around, we owe it to our parents and kids to do better.
NOW TO ME.... I am good, God has been great and so faithful
I feel so undeserving yet GRATEFUL
I have been through rocky mountains, cold blizzards and scorching Sunshine but!!!
He never left me and I can only say I am thankful for making me SEASONED....
Oh this is another post ill touch on, gosh I miss writing. #SEASONED.
I am 99% back my 1% would be my kiddo taking my time but be sure ill be here,
Feels great to get back to doing what u love and just being who u are.
Yep another post would be how I kick back, I am such a plain Jane!
Till my next post its tataz...
TejuMola

LIFE

I am writing this piece as a result of a situation that happened a few mins ago

I really do not understand how we as human beings function..........

Why is there so much hatred, jealousy and false witnessing?

Being unhappy at another's success, ill feelings towards an innocent soul????

I cannot deal with it, I cannot stand people who dwell in it either, 

Life is a struggle for everyone, some get to relax and rest a lil early 

But it does not take away from the fact the Life deals with everyone!

I do not understand how friendships fall out because one is doing better

A friend cannot handle the other's success or the Fortunate one is conceited

I wish we knew how we let our emotions destroy good and potential bonds

Not everyone has the maturity to be strong when we obvioulsy should be weak

But one rule I have in life is Celebrate others Friends or Strangers...............

Never short  change anyone's happiness or reason for happiness

Celebrating others brings forth ur celebration............

I am grateful for seeing life as a place where you keep dancing 

You learn different lessons daily and people always help you learn fast

Characters are never hidden for long, its the ability to discern which is right for U.

The first month of the year is rounding up and I am thankful to God through each day

Its a challenge daily to walk the straight line but thankful for his mercies......

I hope we take some time and decide to be better people this year, 

Better parents, lovers, friends to one another and Speaking on friends

Its unfortunate friendship is based on what one can do or get from the other

Hardly are real friendships anymore and the ones that last pple try to be a bridge

For me friendship can span as long as 20 years if both understand.........

Even thru distance our friendship is grounded and have faith in it

Sometimes life happens and we cannot communicate as we do in the past

It does not change things people just make changes and cave into it

As long as your heart is pure, I believe misconceptions would always be cleared

And if no one gives u a chance give yourself a break and focus on being the best.....

Have a blessed week..........

Teju

BITTER SWEET

After the tears felt like her second skin.............

The pain in her chest felt like her heartbeat

This was the daily ritual of sadness she went thru...........

Intoxicated with the contents of her bottle............

She staggered to her room and then her bathroom

She switched on her lights and stared back at a stranger

She had lost weight, her hair was gaunt and face pale........

She ran the shower and soaked under its hotness...........

She must have been there for hours, the steam was choking

She walked out of the bathroom and into the room...........

Her memory drifted to the fun times of the last 5 yrs

And jolted at the painful ones causing her hurt............

She decided to get a grip, move on what else could she do?

As she put on some music to ease her mind to rest.......

She took a pen and paper and wrote......................

U win by walking out on me................

U win by every time u called and I answered

U win each time u touched me and I surrendered

U win when I said I love u and U shut me up with a kiss

U win each time u came over and left with a part of me

Never leaving even a scent of urs for me to bask in............

U win telling me I was not ur type else we would have been

U win, U told me Love was not the plan I messed things up

U win as I stare at your wedding invitation........................

U win telling me "friends forever" after 5 years...............

U finally won in the last one year as u planned your exit........
Talking and acting like we were always cool......
Playing off seeing me hurt and craving "US"
But then I realized I was paddling a boat.......
U just needed to get ashore...............

Then her phone rings "hello, long time
Hope you have been good? It was HIM
Just wanted to check if U got the Invitation?"

How dare him, How heartless and blind could he be????

How oblivious to the fact that she loved him????

She replied,  yes I did and he replies ok hope ill see u

This was the last straw and she said I need to see U

He was down the street from her, an open invitation......

The door bell rings and as she opens the door he grabs her

All she had was a towel underneath her robe................

She pulls away and tells him NO, this would only take a min

She hands him an envelope and he reads...................

I am happy U av found happiness as U took mine

But always remember this: 

Each time I smile at U, let it remind U how much I despise u

When I let u hold me, let it remind U how my skin crawls

When u look at me, let my eyes show u the hatred in it

When u see me let it remind you of how weak U are...........

Every time U hear Congrats remember the ring.......
The very ring U said u helped a friend picked............
Only to find me choosing a ring for ur Angel

While me ur Jezebel gets the burden of friendship
Ur worries, fears, doting on u cuz u lack it in ur Angel
But not ur heart when U took mine with no remorse
While U lie to urself and the whole world u love her
But the truth is U are loving for the two of U
Now U want a forever when U ended it all.......
I cant be ur comfort in ur cold pretense
U deserve it, but my Karma hasn't started just yet
Each time u call me friend remember U av a living Enemy
I am not mad or delusional I AM SCORNED......

I DIDN'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH!!!!

2010 was an emotional roller coaster..............
Few knew my state of mind, heart and body
I was confused, depressed, empty and wanting
But I learned to numb each pain slowly
Mask my smile and act like all was good
A turn around came and it always does for me
I get to a point I open my windows and let the birds fly
Holding on to things, people when they dont want to be
Its the worst feeling ever...............
It was a year I was the most uncertain abt who I was
What my heart's content was, What beauty there was?
What sex appeal could be under this whole pile of mess ME
Its strange how the one person u wish saw ur beauty
Made u feel ugly inside out constantly................
But it gets to a point u make a decision to DO U
I had to walk away from people's expectations, thoughts
My heart's fear, my mind and the voices in my head.........
And just fall flat at God's feet, I needed HIS LOVE
Nothing else seemed to heal me but his (God)
I tried to see if I cld fill the pain but it never lasted........
When I gave up and had God take over *sigh*
It was the best thing I ever did, he broke me though.......
I had to go through it, take off all hanging threads of the past
And Dec 2010 I was into my own....................
I just had this new lease on life, attitude and said to myself
My happiness matters, its all about ME and NO ONE ELSE
2011 its been an amazing year so much to thank God for......
Graduated (MBA), turned 30 and never felt sexier and lovely
Making a mess of 3 yrs of my life but........
Today I own IT and more, no cliches............
N.B - I wld like to S/O to someone ere.......
Ur discipline and un phased attitude about life
Is real admirable cuz U never cave in to life
I wish u all d best and want u to know
U'll always be a fond one in my heart........
Doc
TejOsh

THE WONDERS OF GOD

I am just thankful for my years on this earth
Many times I have taken the wrong step,
Many times I have made the wrong move,
Many times I have swayed to the wrong music
But God always comes thru...................
I would be graduating in less than a week
2 yrs ago I started my MBA out of a desperate situation
Not knowing If I could do it, If I had the brains for it
Semester after Semester my gift of writing came thru
My grades were awesome and I was filled with awe!!!
One semester almost knocked my dreams out............
I literally gave up on God I had had it with the trust he had in me
The tests he put me thru, the situations meant to build me
But I just gave up and opted to break................
But God in his awesome way watch me crumble
And picked me up piece by piece and put me back together
All by himself wiped my tears, held my face, hugged to himself
And whispered its ok my daughter, watch me and trust me
He changed an impossible situation, what ill call BURIED
And breathe life into it, what was closed became revived......
I was shocked to my bones, I hear pastors talk of almost over
And God came thru but experiencing it myself.............
I shared this testimony a while back on my blog
God has been good to me despite my mess.............
I am amazed at his love and belief in me still cuz
I am not perfect, I am a pile of mess but still.....
He treats me with care, bathes me and cleans off the dirt
Everytime I call he is there, every tear he catches............
While millions serve him diligently I get caught up
Serving myself, getting a thumbs up from the Devil
When sapped out of all the interim joy, I realize
The only sustaining joy is God and he never falters..........
I am not a saint nor wake up this morning with a conscience
Everyday God has been awesome to me, even thru selfishness
I am grateful and in total awe, I get a chance to say THANK U
And come sunday Ill put my fingers to rest at UMUC.........
God thank u for finding me worthy despite my ways.......

WANTING

God understand his children perfectly and the reason why he gives us our NEEDS

But human beings take for granted the feelings of others in various forms
In friendship, relationships, business operations, marriage, parenting!!!!
We cant pre empt God at the same time dont blame God for ur tardiness

Emotionally lazy pple are not Lazy to me they are plain selfish

Life is what it is we take if we can keep getting but what abt the giver?
When the giver is finally sapped out what happens???

This is where the true selfish xters come out at the same time

The givers are to blame cuz they never know when to stop or say NO

In a relationship we might be what we NEED for each other but

The power of WANT shld never be undermined, not even in this day

U can be all I need but If I dont want u I would never realize MY NEED
An important reason God's timing should be respected and appreciated

Every Man wants a wife, home keeper, kids and a home to come to but

Are u the Man she wants?
Every Woman wants a husband with a fat bank account, a socialite (for some)A money bag, father to her kids but are u the woman he wants???
Little things we take for granted are the mighty cracks we watch cave in
It seems trivial at first but A relationship is not about COMFORT its COMPROMISE
I know life hapens, work, kids, making ends meet but if u take a second to think
Where did all the fun go? Now its Morning, breakfast, kids, work, home and Gudnyt
Why wont it be alright to look elsewhere?
It is normal the stars fall out of the eyes after some time together but
Also once in a while indulge in putting those stars back on ur partner

I have this saying....................

"When the landlord mistreats his house, the Tenant becomes a Lord 2"
This goes for both sexes, Never Ignore ur partner's WANTS
What u think is absurd to give to ur partner someone else thinks its a token
No one's life is going to be the same as urs, reactions wld always be different

Some of our wants are misplaced and selfish true but lets be careful

We dont get too wrapped up in our comfort zones to make others uncomfortable

We might NEED each other but do we WANT each other

Think abt that and maybe open urself up a little to giving in to a WANT

May God help us all in our sojourn to find bliss

Tej(C) 2011